Loved and Locked

A mother of a 34 year old mentally challenged man stated in a recent newspaper article stated that she locks her son up fearful for his safety.His food and water is given to him through the gate.

The family said that Sheik began to have violent episodes after he was hit on the head 10 years ago at Makoi.The mum who refuses to send his son to st.Giles says that sometimes when the son got so violent he would run after him.

She also went on to say that it is not an easy task looking after her son but is determined to give her best.Inside the wall where he is caged are the marks form Sheiks Punches when he gets angry.

She said that their life revolved around her son because he needed care and love.And the only way to dot hat , she said, was in a cage within reach of their love.

This recent article refers to some of the difficulties that single parent families can face especially with their children.

Family conflict

Family conflict has been one of the big issues in relation to single parent families, they argue and end up in divorce and separation of the extended families.

A newspaper article published on Fiji sun ,Monday March 30,2009,talks about how the eleven year old Narewa lass Varanisese sige vatunitu had lost all love for her family in her village because they had chased her mother away.

Mrs Vatunitu said she sensed that the family of her late husband did not want her after the 100th nite.Things became worse after Mrs Vatunitu set up a makeup shift shed beside their household items for extra cash.

According to the late husbands family they chased her out because she was going to sell their Mataqali house which belonged to them for "11,ooo'.

Many families lack to understand each other or talk things over with their family in order to avoid conflicts which later leads to major disaster in the family.

A mothers Love

Interestingly a mother of two was abandoned by close friends after her close friends and family abandoned her because she chose to love her two sons.

The article which was published by the Fiji times on Friday,27th March talks about how Ms Watis two son Sunil Prakash 24 and Umesh Prakash 19 are mentally handicapped and cannot be left unsupervised.

According to the article Ms Wati takes his two son where ever she goes.The family lives around Sabeto in Nadi.

Most people become single parent because their the breadwinner dies or leaves them because of the so called reason of seeing his children handicapped.They are either shy or do not want to take extra load of work especially without any income.

She also told the paper that doctors have said that nothing can be done about it that her son are fine.They can barely talk but are always found with a permanent smile on their face.

Trainer

A Fiji sun article published on Tuesday,March 24,2009 tells of how Maya Wati a single mother with two son often cries because she keeps thinking of what she would feed her children.
Maya who live in the outskirts of Labasa Town survives from odd jobs at a neighboring community.

Recent surveys have shown that sometimes when single parent can not earn their living they resort to other things like prostitution just to benefit their children.This sometimes also leads to parents sending their children for early labour because of financial constrains. But for some children who cannot sacrifice sometimes end up as street kids.

In terms of street kids it also can generate more crime and poverty around the community.With the help from Civil society organization and other community projects we can be able to decrease this issue.

Recently an article on Fiji Times Online talked about how for the past eight years the Fijians in the ages of 20-29 years being affected by STI,s ,Gonorrhea ,Syphilis, and this is elaborated by Dr Samuela as the effects by having unprotected sex by our youth today .He said these figures were very alarming and of concern for many reasons.

"These are very high rates for Fiji's population. It highlights the underlying concern of unsafe sexual behaviour among young people. This is the same high-risk behaviour for the transmission of HIV.

"The most affected are in the productive times of their lives, could be studying in tertiary institutions, or earning money

"Unfortunately, in today's society, the family is not fulfiling that role for many reasons because of break-ups, divorce, single parent, absentee parents and poor parental examples.

"In Fiji we pride ourselves in that every family has a religious affiliation.

"However, the question we need to ask is whether religion is playing its role in helping parents to fulfill their responsibilities?

"I see religion playing a more important and influential role here than any government department."

Dr Samuela said the ministry had a limited role in terms of addressing the problem of STIs.

He said it involved stakeholders but the primary responsibility was with parents, adolescents and young people.

"As has been emphasised many times, sex is serious business.

Dr Samuela said contributing factors range from peer pressure, substance abuse, distorted views of sex, the influence of the media and entertainment industry through television and movies and the internet.

In the recent development incurring in our every day life..where new things are being experimented by our children........Parents whether single mothers or father must continue to take out most of their time in looking after their children and telling them the consequences faced by people who have unprotected sex....

Links:http://www.fijitimes.com/story.aspx?id=102701

Being a single parent family is hard for many people,but as for a recent newspaper article published on Saturday, June 6,2009 it talks about how this single mother, Valavia Ranadi has taken good care of her 42-year old son Agapito Muawalu who at the age of seven was a class two student of a prominent primary school, fell victim to a road accident.He is handicapped and blind.

Although the two live alone in a two bedroom house with unhygienic environment,she gives all her faithful responsibility to her one and only son.Valavia who does not receive any financial assistance apart from Social welfare,plants their own food,including root crops and vegetables.

Valavia describes how it is hard for her to see her son grow inside a small room when he could have been out in the world with a successful career and a good life.

At time she goes out fishing for their meal and pulls cassava from their plantation.She also told the newspaper about how she used to nurse her nurse her son in those young days, she could carry him to the toilet and bathroom outside their house.Today, she no longer does that since age is catching up with her.

But despite the hardships they have endured, Valavia believes that the important element of life,which they have not lost sight of, is their commitment to god.

When we finally ask, the Lord will always give us a good answer to our questions."

This article basically talks about how single parent mothers give or find other alternatives to help them survive in this difficult world.

Single parent families

For me having both of my parents is really a blessing. But I know that one day one of them is going to go away.

One of the most striking changes in family structure over the last twenty years has been the increase of single parent families.

In this family there is only one parent in the household raising the children. Due to high divorce rates and adults choosing not

to marry, this is currently the fastest growing family form in many countries including Fiji.

More than half of all children will spend some of their lives in a single-parent family. Currently, 88 percent of these families

are headed by women.

Links- (Single-Parent Families - Demographic Trends, Mother-only And Father-only Families, Challenges Of Single-parenting)

In 1970, the number of single parent families with children under the age of 18 was 3.8 million; by 1990 the number had

more than doubled to 9.7 million. For the first time in history, children are most likely to live in a single parent family for

reasons other than the death of a parent. One in four children are born with their mothers not married, usually teenage

mothers. One of the most expensive things for a single parent is child care.


Too often children living in single parent households have to contend with negative stereotypes and hurtful remarks made by

insensitive adults. Regardless of whether the single parent family exists as result of divorce or death of the other parent, or

the parent choosing not to marry, the child is clearly not responsible for the circumstances. However, it is often the child who

pays the price. On the other hand, single families often have less tension compared to the tension in families before divorce.

With reduced tension, the single parent can focus more clearly on the child’s needs. Usually parents and children are more

willing to co-operate with each other to find solutions to solve household problems in single parent families.

Single parenting is strongly associated with an increased risk of a number of negative social, behavioral and emotional

outcomes for children. However while the association is strong, on balance the effect size and the actual numbers affected are

modest. Most children from single parent families do well. Many factors influence how children develop in single-parent

families: the parent's age, education level, and occupation; the family's income, and the family's support network of friends

and extended family members (including the non-resident parent, if available). Disadvantages in these factors that often

accompany single parenting appear to cause most of this association rather than single parenting itself.

Shocking headlines do get published; for example a 2003 Swedish study, stated that those living with a single parent were

about three times more likely to kill themselves or end up in the hospital after an attempted suicide by the age of 26 than

children living with two parents, however this only happened to 2.2 percent of girls and 1 percent of boys. While such a

finding is concerning, clearly the vast majority of the children of single parents do not kill themselves and are under-

represented Children of single parents are very likely to share more household responsibilities, including looking after

themselves. Single parents are more likely to discuss things with their children (usually financial or family

decisions) which, in other families, are usually discussed only between parents.